For 5 months my life was PERFECT! Then it was stolen from me.. Here is my story:

When I met my husband in Jan 2004 I knew it was love at first site. Although he was going through a divorce and had a 11month old son I couldn't get past his sweet, caring self. After he was divorced and I knew it was forever, we decided to start trying for a baby... Less then 2 months later I found out we were expecting.. My sister was real close to delivering her baby so we were both extremely excited that we were going to have babies so close in age (My sister and I are only 16months apart). After she had her baby girl and we found out we were having a girl it felt awesome knowing those two little girls were going to be best friends for life because of how close my sister and I are. 10 months of an amazing pregnancy with no complications or morning sickness, I naturally delivered my 6lb 13 1/2 oz healthy as can be baby girl 12 hours after my water had broke at home.. After she was born we decided I would go on the depo shot. Birth control you can't forget to take and no monthly period?? Score! When Kiele (Ky-lee) my daughter turned 2 we decided to try for another...It took 2 1/2 years for my period to return to normal after I stopped taking the depo shot... a year and a half after that.. (Remember I got pregnant with my daughter QUICK) I was getting nauseous and ''feeling" just like I did when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter... I had taken probably close to 20 tests in those 4 years hoping I would get a surprise to get a BFN every time.. We had just gotten home from our towns 4th of July parade and I told my hubby I needed to run to the store really quick to pick up some milk.. While I was there I decided to get a pregnancy as well.. I didn't tell my hubby this time because he would get excited every time I took a test hoping to get a positive result just to torn apart when only that one lined showed up.. Much to my surprise when I got home and took the test and saw 2 lines.. I was in shock.. I sat there for what seemed like an hour staring a white stick... I couldn't believe it! I WAS PREGNANT!!! It didn't seem real.. When it finally hit me.. I ran as fast as I could down the steps to show my husband.. I was screaming "Honey Honey!!! You won't believe it! OMGOSH!!!" He just sat there like WOW... dazed! Very excited! I went and sat on my front porch and did nothing but cry.. I couldn't believe God had finally blessed me with a baby and was giving me the honor to be able to be a mommy again.. After waiting 5 weeks to finally get into see my OB doctor...I got the conformation from him that I was indeed pregnant!! At my second OB appt. I was 14 weeks pregnant and was soo excited I was going to finally be able to hear my precious babies heartbeat! The doctor put that little Doppler thing up to my belly...and searched and searched and searched...NOTHING! No heartbeat! I was sent to the ultrasound room for the conformation! It was a long 10minute wait until I walked in and the ultrasound tech confirmed there indeed was a beautiful baby with a strong 143bpm heartbeat! I was SOOOOO relieved!! From the day I found out I was pregnant it felt WAYYY to good to be true.. A friend of mine had lost her baby at 10 weeks (baby was only 2 weeks) only a few months earlier... I didn't feel like I was any better or more deserving then her.. So anyway! I was on cloud 9! Showing everyone my babys beautiful ultrasound pictures that I had received.. and was much looking forward to my next appt which was going to be at 20weeks to find out if we were going to be blessed with another baby girl or if our family was going to be complete with our precious baby boy. I made sure I scheduled my appt on a Friday when my husband was going to be off so he could be there when we found out what we were having.. Luckily and coincidentally my 6 year old daughter didn't had school that day.. so she too was going to be there in all out excitement to find out if she would have a brother or a sister.. When we got called back to the room.. Did our routine things and then it was heartbeat time again... and not to my surprise the doctor AGAIN couldn't find the heartbeat.. No biggie! He couldn't find it the month prior and everything was fine then... Off to the ultrasound room we went. Laying on the table I was calm and cool as a cucumber. The ultrasound was put up to my belly... Nothing... Looking around for 5 minutes.. No heartbeat.. This wasn't the same tech that had found it within seconds the month before.. so again no worries.. She continued to look and still nothing.. She looked and me and said, "Im sorry I can't find a heartbeat" I said your crazy! I want a different tech.. After waiting a hour for another tech to show up. My OB doctor came back into the ultrasound room and was explaining to me what could have happened.. The cord could be wrapped around the babies neck, or it could have a blood clot in the umbilical cord. He then went on to explain what was going to happen if the 2nd opinion confirmed that there was no heartbeat. I said "lets not get ahead of ourselves, everything is fine!" When the 2nd tech had come in .. She was tearing up.. I heard her whisper "I can not believe they did this to me" To this day Im not sure what that meant.. but after she had measured the babies head and indeed confirmed.. My baby had passed! To put it simply, I was a wreck. My daughter was sitting next to me.. and my husbands face was blank!! This couldn't be happening.. I waited four years for this! I deserved this.. If Im such a great mom, then why is this happening?? My sister was texting me and calling me every 10 minutes waiting in anticipation in wondering if she was going to have niece or a nephew...There was NO WAY in heck I was giving her that blow over the phone.. I asked to meet us in town and get some lunch.. I was numb.. I was thinking how we needed to hurry up get some lunch and some groceries before Kiele had soccer practice that early evening.. My sister got into town and I gave her the news.. When I finally said out loud.. "I lost the baby..." That is when I was like I WHAT?? I lost it and burst into tears.. I went into the hospital that night and was induced... At 8:12 the following morning..11hrs of labor I had my precious baby.. After just being thrown less then 24hrs earlier they I had lost my baby.. I was being asked by 10 different people from all shifts if I was going to hold my baby.. I respectfully denied. I didn't want to have the memory of my baby laying in my arms not breathing... The dr the was on call and delivered my baby came back into the room and said "You had a perfect baby BOY!" I started crying hysterically.. My pregnancy was so different from first I knew I was having a boy.. This pregnancy I had morning sickness, everyday all day.. He then asked if we wanted to have an autopsy done.. My husband and I agreed that if the cause of death was obvious.. We did NOT want anyone poking and prodding our precious baby boy.. He said the cord was wrapped tightly around his neck twice..

Yesterday, Matt was off and we got bored so.....we bought a turtle his name is Filbert. Kiele wants to name him Mario but Filbert is sooo much funnier, is funnier a word? Anyways, here he is!




Kiele's addicted, she is constantly asking me if he is dead...baha! Poor thing, she keeps poking it to make sure he is still moving...






So the lady we bought him from told us that if we put him on the floor he will walk around, I've done that a few times, but with Elmyra in the house he won't come out of his shell! =]!